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criticalkinkThe rules are under the cut for you to read if you haven't already checked out the profile!
Welcome to the kink meme for Critical Role!
This community is open to all fans of Critical Role no matter what your preference for pairing may be. You do not have to join the community: you can either watch it or just track the post. Anon commenting will always be on, and IP tracking will be off. So feel free to stay anon if it makes you more comfortable.
What is a Kink Meme?
It's pretty simple. You post a prompt and your fellow fans get inspired and write fic based on that prompt. As it is a "kink" meme, a great deal of fic will be of the smutty variety, so if you aren't into that or not of a porn-reading age, this place won't be for you. Not all fic has to be smutty, but it does have to be kinky.
Clarification: This is a kink meme, therefore prompts must be kink-based. It is not a general prompting/headcanons meme. There have been a couple of people confused by that, so we're just making it extra clear.
Please only post one prompt per comment so to avoid any confusion.
How do I prompt?
Post each prompt as a new comment to the main post. Include pairing (or threesome or more if that's your thing) and anything else you want to add. You should put, at the very least, the pairing in the subject line along with a specific kink if it applies. You can put the whole prompt in the subject if it will fit, but if it doesn't, use the comments. For example:
Subject line: Beauregard/Jester, friends to lovers
Body of comment: Jester's been letting Beau use her for sparring practice. That kind of proximity does things to a tiefling.
I see a prompt I want to write! What now?
Go for it! You don't have to claim it, and fills can be written by more than one person. Once you've finished you must post it as a response to the original comment. Responses should use a subject line that includes the pairing, rating & any necessary warnings (i.e. incest, non-con, etc.). If you have titled your fic you can also include that. Also, as LJ limits the size of comments, if your fic goes into multiple comments, please note that your comment is part 1/5, part 2/5 and so on. Using the prompt above, the subject line could read:
"Punches and Pastries, Jester/Beauregard, M, 1/3"
And now some rules...
While we want this to be a relaxed and cool place, we also don't want people to feel uncomfortable being here. If you have suggestions or comments on how this community can improve please address to them tocriticalkink in a PM or drop a comment on this post.
The most important rule of all? HAVE FUN.
Now go forth and prompt!
Welcome to the kink meme for Critical Role!
This community is open to all fans of Critical Role no matter what your preference for pairing may be. You do not have to join the community: you can either watch it or just track the post. Anon commenting will always be on, and IP tracking will be off. So feel free to stay anon if it makes you more comfortable.
What is a Kink Meme?
It's pretty simple. You post a prompt and your fellow fans get inspired and write fic based on that prompt. As it is a "kink" meme, a great deal of fic will be of the smutty variety, so if you aren't into that or not of a porn-reading age, this place won't be for you. Not all fic has to be smutty, but it does have to be kinky.
Clarification: This is a kink meme, therefore prompts must be kink-based. It is not a general prompting/headcanons meme. There have been a couple of people confused by that, so we're just making it extra clear.
Please only post one prompt per comment so to avoid any confusion.
How do I prompt?
Post each prompt as a new comment to the main post. Include pairing (or threesome or more if that's your thing) and anything else you want to add. You should put, at the very least, the pairing in the subject line along with a specific kink if it applies. You can put the whole prompt in the subject if it will fit, but if it doesn't, use the comments. For example:
Subject line: Beauregard/Jester, friends to lovers
Body of comment: Jester's been letting Beau use her for sparring practice. That kind of proximity does things to a tiefling.
I see a prompt I want to write! What now?
Go for it! You don't have to claim it, and fills can be written by more than one person. Once you've finished you must post it as a response to the original comment. Responses should use a subject line that includes the pairing, rating & any necessary warnings (i.e. incest, non-con, etc.). If you have titled your fic you can also include that. Also, as LJ limits the size of comments, if your fic goes into multiple comments, please note that your comment is part 1/5, part 2/5 and so on. Using the prompt above, the subject line could read:
"Punches and Pastries, Jester/Beauregard, M, 1/3"
And now some rules...
- Since we're all supposed to be adults here, let's act like it. Be respectful to your fellow posters.
- Your kink is not someone else's and their kink may not be yours. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's really that simple.
- Please no bashing of other pairings. Just like with kinks, everyone has their own flavors, and this is neither the time nor place for ship wars. This meme is meant to include the entire fandom.
- Crossover prompts are allowed, but they must include a Critical Role character as a main part of the prompt.
- RPF is also allowed, but please prompt it over here!
- Het, slash, femmeslash? You're all welcome here. The more the merrier!
- It's not a requirement by any means, but writers love feedback, so if you read something you enjoy, take a second to tell the writer. Whether it's a one word response or something longer, it's always appreciated.
- Please follow basic kink meme etiquette by not linking the cast or crew to this meme.
While we want this to be a relaxed and cool place, we also don't want people to feel uncomfortable being here. If you have suggestions or comments on how this community can improve please address to them to
criticalkink in a PM or drop a comment on this post.The most important rule of all? HAVE FUN.
Now go forth and prompt!
Calls of Nature (Caleb/Fjord/Jester/Caduceus; Jester/Beau; E)
Date: 2019-07-14 12:20 pm (UTC)And now he's paying the price. His bladder is aching, his kidneys are starting to complain as well, and Nott slurping from her flask is doing the exact opposite of wonders for his need to go.
"Caleb, would you quit wriggling?" Fjord says, remarkably patiently for a man who has been kicked in the shins twice. "What's wrong? Ants in your pants?"
"N-nein, it's nothing."
"For--" Beau gropes for a word, goes with, "the gods in general's sake, you can tell us, whatever it is."
Caleb stays silent despite the fact that his apparently indiscreet contortions have led to him being nigh doubled over in a desperate attempt to hold his water.
"Do you have an injury?" Fantastic. Now Caduceus is awake. "Do you need healing?"
"I can heal you if you need it," Jester offers, which is ridiculously generous of her. "Where does it hurt?" She's lying on the other side of Fjord and casually drapes herself over the half-orc to reach Caleb, grasping his shoulder. "I guess it doesn't matter where exactly unless you need a bandage or something, my magic can figure it out, but--"
"Jester, I do not need healing," Caleb says through clenched teeth.
"Do you need a drink?" Nott's flask bangs against Caleb's hip and he can't suppress a pained whimper, feeling a few hot droplets leak out of his cock.
Everyone goes quiet.
"Caleb," Fjord asks after a moment, "are you masturbating?"
"If only," Caleb can't help but mutter. Beau, on his other side, snickers; it sends a ripple of movement through her and hence through him and he can feel himself about to let go. Then she sits up and that's even worse; she's not moving roughly but it's enough jolting for his tender bladder to complain vociferously.
"For fuck's sake," she says, pressing something against his hands where they're cupped over his groin, "if you needed to piss you should've just said."
"Oh," Caduceus says as though profoundly enlightened.
"Why didn't you go before?" Nott asks, in that moment sounding every inch the mother that she is.
"Ran out of time." The wind is howling outside like some great beast come to swallow the dome whole, and the snow is battering against it, leaving Caleb sure they'll be digging their way out come morning, but no, of course Nott's just worried that he forgot to take a piss before sequestering them all in the hut.
Caleb takes one hand off his complaining cock to investigate what Beau has given him. It seems to be a waterskin, smaller than those they use for long journeys, with a much wider mouth and snug cork closure, which he fumbles open and nearly loses in the dark until he realizes it's hanging off a short string.
"What is this?" he asks stupidly.
"Waterskin."
"You don't drink from it?"
"Yeah, that's a mistake most people only make the once." He can hear the wry smile in her voice. "Don't worry, it's empty."
"I can't--"
"Can't what?" Caduceus asks.
"Oh, Caduceus, he can't go while we're listening," Jester says, quick to grasp the unspoken words. She starts singing, not bothering overmuch about being on key, and while listening to a song about his partymate's mother being extremely sexually experience is not the best condition under which to successfully urinate, Caleb fumbles his cock out of his breeches and into the wide mouth of the thick leather bottle.
"Got it?" Beau asks tersely, and when Caleb responds with a brief "mhm" she turns her back on him, not that there's much room to do so.
"It ain't anything to be ashamed of," Fjord begins.
"Will you please shut up?" His stream refuses to start now, though he can feel a mere dribble getting on his hands.
Fjord sighs and joins Jester in singing; Nott pipes up as well, and the three of them pretty well cover up the splashing noise as Caleb's finally able to relieve himself.
"I'm sorry you're hurting," Caduceus says, "but you did a good thing tonight. If you hadn't been so fast with the spell, we'd most likely be caught out in that snow, and I don't think we'd do so well out there."
Caleb feels an warm glow in his lower belly that has nothing to do with emptying his bladder. "Um. Danke."
"Bitte." Caduceus pronounces it poorly but the attempt makes Caleb smile.
Task complete, Caleb corks the waterskin thoroughly and sits up to put it with his own gear; handing it back to Beau now seems revolting. He lies back down, feeling uncomfortably damp in a couple of spots, including his right hand.
Fjord stops singing, leaving Jester and Nott to carry gaily on through the next verse without him. "Did you, uh." He's got his mouth right up against Caleb's ear, blowing warm against his skin. "Clean up okay?"
"With what?" Caleb whisper-snaps.
Fjord's hand lands on his cock.
"Oh. Oops. Too close." Caleb can imagine the half-orc's blush. And yet he doesn't remove his hand as he murmurs a few words, whisking away the damp feeling from not only there but from Caleb's fingers.
And when it's done he still doesn't remove his hand.
"Uh. Fjord? Your hand--"
Jester interrupts herself mid-chorus to ask, "Are you masturbating now, Fjord?"
"Hells, Jester, would you lay off? It's not like you can talk, everyone hears you every night." Fjord imitates the little whimpery noises that Jester makes when she's rubbing herself off, a matter of fact part of her nightly routine as much as writing to the Traveler and brushing her teeth.
When Caleb's cock twitches in response to--the noise? Fjord's touch?--Fjord's fingers close around it instead of just resting his palm on it, and Caleb lets out a low moan, this time very much not of desperate aching.
Not the bad sort, anyway.
"Oh, fuck you two," Beau says, and Caleb feels her move away. Somehow she manages to turn an undignified scramble into the sliver of space on the other side of Caduceus into a disdainful exit.
"What are you doing?" Caleb feels Jester's cool hand pat along Fjord's forearm. "Oh. Oh!"
"This okay?" Fjord whispers to Caleb, as though it's just the two of them.
"Ja--" Caleb's cut off there as Jester, less adroitly than Beau, clambers over the two of them to stretch out in Beau's vacated spot and snuggle nonchalantly on his other side.
"Beau, are you coming back?" She sounds like she's inviting Beau back to her house for tea and donuts rather than whatever this is.
"I'm--no!"
"Nott--"
"I am a married woman," Nott objects, and Caleb feels her crawl off his feet to join Beau.
"Room for one more?" Caduceus asks without Jester even saying his name, and Caleb feels the firbolg simply roll over to spoon Jester in her newly claimed position.
"Just don't defile my bedroll too much," Beau grumbles.
Fjord keeps ignoring the peanut gallery, stroking Caleb slow and easy til he's hard, hot, on the verge of making another mess. "That's good," he murmurs. "We should thank you more often for keeping us all protected from the elements."
"Sometimes nature's call isn't so bad," Caduceus says, and from the sound of the delighted noise Jester makes he's got a hand inside her nightclothes. "Sometimes if you answer it, you get a better outcome than you were expecting."
Caleb just makes a complicated, inarticulate noise as Fjord kisses him, tusk nubs pressing into his lips. He gets a hand between them, pulls open the lacings of Fjord's breeches, and is rewarded with a deep groan when his fingers wrap around Fjord's shaft. His other hand gropes for and finds one of Jester's soft breasts; she's on her back now, hips rising and falling as Caduceus's fingers work between her legs, her own hands grasping greedily at the thick shaft that she's managed to free from Caduceus's own nightwear.
"Götter--"
"That's it, just let go." Fjord grins against his cheek. "Again."
Caleb cries out, and he's far from the last of them to do so; the others do so in their turns (Jester repeatedly and noisily, the lucky woman), and in the end the mess is more than one cantrip can cover. Fjord does repeated casts, grumbling good-naturedly.
But worth it, Caleb thinks, sated now with both bladder and balls feeling pleasantly empty. Worth it.
-Coda-
Beau's no turns to a yes when the men are asleep and it's just her and Jester, Jester's mouth closing on Beau's heated flesh, Beau's thighs clamping around Jester's head, horns digging into Beau's thighs as she bites her lip hard against any sound that might give her away.
Nott, married, just takes another drink and falls asleep with Frumpkin as her pillow.
Re: Calls of Nature (Caleb/Fjord/Jester/Caduceus; Jester/Beau; E)
Date: 2019-07-14 09:18 pm (UTC)Re: Calls of Nature (Caleb/Fjord/Jester/Caduceus; Jester/Beau; E)
Date: 2019-07-14 09:58 pm (UTC)Re: Calls of Nature (Caleb/Fjord/Jester/Caduceus; Jester/Beau; E)
Date: 2019-07-16 06:50 am (UTC)Re: Calls of Nature (Caleb/Fjord/Jester/Caduceus; Jester/Beau; E)
Date: 2019-07-20 09:15 am (UTC)Re: Calls of Nature (Caleb/Fjord/Jester/Caduceus; Jester/Beau; E)
Date: 2019-07-22 04:14 am (UTC)