Tal chokes at first, inarticulate and wrung out. Then, he manages those few more weak words. "Pathetic." He sniffs loudly. "P-pathetic. 'M pathetic."
Glancing up again, it takes a few seconds to locate Matthew but they catch eyes where he's crouched down watching Taliesin’s face in what Ivan assumes must be slack bliss. Matt gives a gentle nod and it's all the permission Ivan needs to see it to completion.
*
"Aftercare is going to be vital." Ivan said, finishing a bottled water as he went over the final preparation one last time. "If he taps out, or when it's done he's going to need a lot of love and while I fully plan to be part of it, a lot of it will be on you."
Matt nodded slowly. He understood his role, and knew full well what aftercare would look like. He was used to being the one getting it, listening to Tal and Marisha coo over him and remind him of how loved he was and that he was such a good boy and did well no matter what. He knew how it felt to come down and bear the empty coldness, those sad moments of coming back to reality and feeling the limits of his body and spirit.
He could only imagine what it would feel like after being brutalized.
"You gonna be okay?" Ivan asked, aware of his far away stare.
Matt chuckled. "Even if I wasn't, it's not like I can back out an hour before showtime."
"Of course you can. Any of us can pull the plug any time. We all have to be on the same page if-"
"It's fine." Matt interrupted. "I mean it. Just worried about what comes after."
For a moment Ivan didn't answer, he had to consider both his thoughts on the subject and his audience. "Give him love." He closed the distance between them with uncertain footsteps. "I'll worry about the first aid and practical stuff."
"And you?" Matt asked quietly. "I know you're not a stranger to playing a monster, but this is a lot."
He'd considered it, of course, and it wasn't his first time being the villain. Still, Matt wasn't wrong. As much as he was into the idea as Taliesin was, there was nothing easy about what he was going to do. "I'll be fine. A hot bath and a beer and I'll be okay."
The look on Matt's face was clear, he didn't believe that for a second. "Okay." He answered carefully. "Run me through it one more time?"
*
It's hard to tell if time is moving slowly or Taliesin’s body has simply accepted what's happening to him. He trembles, fear or exhaustion or both he doesn't know, and simply allows the moment to carry him. Ivan's thrusts are hard and deep, the grip on his flesh unyielding but increasingly ardent.
Ivan's riding the tension himself, his own body trapped between desperately wanting to give in and holding back to keep up his facade just a little longer. Snarling, he bites down again, finding a fresh bruise to scrape his teeth across before bearing down at the thickest part of his shoulder. Taliesin’s sobs have died down to a feeble whine but he knows tears are rolling down chubby pink cheeks, collecting at his chin and making his humbling complete. His prey is broken: as choreographed, he's won.
That's the thought that breaks the wall, he's won. He's won and his body pulses as he slams his hips into Taliesin one last time, filling him deep. "Yes…" He growls between gritted teeth, replacing his rough bite with a reverent kiss. "Ah-ha-ha… yes."
Letting out his held breath, Taliesin sobs and wails out a humbled cry. His throat is raw, his body aching, and his emotions feel desperately fragile. Dizzy, trembling, his fingers open and the rubber ball makes a hollow thwonk on the concrete when it drops.
Matt is the first to spring into action, pushing up on his steady feet and pulling free the knot binding Taliesin’s wrists before Ivan can even withdraw and stumble back enough to give him room to work.
“I’m here.” Matt says softly, wrapping an arm over Taliesin’s shoulders as he comes around the bench to hold him fully. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
It takes a moment to focus himself, but Ivan manages to shake himself free enough to step out of his puddle of clothes and locate the aftercare kit he’d brought. By the time he’s collected himself as well as the bottled water, towels, and balm, Matthew has managed to guide Taliesin to the laid out blanket and wrapped another over his exposed body. For another moment, he’s content to watch as Matthew whispers to him and brushes kisses across tear stained cheeks. It’s beautiful, he thinks, the way they can simply sink like that into easy affection after turmoil. When Taliesin laughs, his voice cracks and Matt wipes away fresh wetness before kissing that laughter away. He almost hates to break the moment.
When Ivan clears his throat and holds out the water, Talisin looks up at him with innocent eyes that at first glance seem fearful but in that same second warm with fondness. “C’mere.” Taliesin smiles and reaches for him and Ivan can’t bring himself to consider doing anything but sinking down on the blanket beside him and offering a towel.
“I’m going to check your wounds.” Ivan says in a voice that feels like the polar opposite of the last long minutes. Calm, confident, and soft. “Don’t mind me.” When he reaches to first check the subtly applied bandage, he’s met with Taliesin’s wide palm covering the top of his hand and holding it at one edge.
“It can wait.” He says, glancing first to Matt and then up at Ivan before moving that shaking hand to grasp his wrist and pull it closer.
Ivan looks to Matt, at first not understanding the gesture even as he’s pulled into Taliesin’s embrace, his arms squeezing tight around Ivan’s shoulders. Matt smiles a little more broadly and nods. “It’s okay.” Matt says casually. “You’re not the bad guy.”
“Oh no…” Taliesin murmurs, burying his head in Ivan’s shoulder and brushing small kisses there. “You’re the best bad guy. That was amazing… that was… God. I think I’m possibly dead right now.”
It’s the small chuckle that bubbles up in his throat that breaks Ivan’s subconsciously protective composure. He has to swallow back bile to let it come out naturally and seconds later he realizes that he’s a little misty eyed himself. “It’s fine.” He manages with another awkward laugh. “I’m fine.”
“Thank you.” Taliesin kisses his throat and squeezes as tightly as his tired arms will allow. “I can’t-”
“Don’t.” Ivan answers, finding sweaty hair at the back of Taliesin’s head as he tenderly strokes a palm there.
Shifting closer, Matt’s arms catch Taliesin from behind again, one wrapping around his midsection to rest comfortably between them. The other hand finds Ivan’s bare thigh and rests on the pale skin there. He squeezes and it draws Ivan’s attention to him fully. “It’s okay.” Matt reassures, the depth of his sincerity showing fully on his face.
Letting himself break a little, Ivan laughs again but its not without a hint of a sob. “I know. I know.” When he leans back, Taliesin initially seems hesitant to let his arms go slack but eventually allows him to get a good look. The hand slides from the back of Taliesin’s head to gently cup his cheek and Ivan isn’t surprised when he flinches. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Fuck. That was... that was awesome.” Taliesin answers and turns into the warm palm enough to press a kiss on Ivan’s thumb. “You’re amazing.”
A blush warms his cheeks and Ivan reflexively answers; “You’re pretty amazing yourself.”
“Beautiful, even.” Matt adds.
It’s clear when Taliesin turns his head to kiss Matt, it’s to stop the praise more than accept affection, but it warms Ivan no less. He adds to the thought; “At the end, I-I couldn’t stop thinking about the way you were crying.”
“God.” Taliesin sighs as the kiss breaks, a coy smile turning his lips. “I haven’t cried like that in- fuck, a long time.”
“It was really hot.” Matt continues, undaunted by the kiss. “I mean… I didn’t want to break your immersion, but part of me kind of wanted to, you know, participate.”
“Oh?” Ivan perks up, letting himself get comfortable in the unexpected embrace of Taliesin’s arms. “Oh do tell.”
“No!” Matt squeaks, his cheeks suddenly much more red than before. “I cannot be held responsible for-”
“Spill it, Mercer.” Ivan glares at him playfully. “Did you want to take a turn? Maybe next time a gang bang situation?”
Taliesin squeaks. “Please don’t say that. I can’t- my brain can’t really wrap around-”
“Not that at all!” Matt’s voice creeps upward, obviously shy about the thought. “Fine. I kind of… it’s stupid.”
“Maybe,” Ivan teases, “I can talk to some mutual friends-”
“Fine. I had this idea that maybe it would be fun to jerk off and come on your face.” His cheeks are burning bright red.
“Ok, that’s hot.” Ivan answers.
Taliesin is quick to add; “That would have been great. God I love your brain.”
Burying his face in Taliesin’s back, well aware of the heat radiating off it and the layer of fresh bruises and mild singe, Matt mutters a reply. “I can’t believe I said that.”
“Maybe next time.” Ivan answers, letting his gaze linger meaningfully on Taliesin as he leans into Matt. “We’ll see.”
Fill: "Risk Aware" (Ivan/Taliesin, background Taliesin/Marisha/Matt. Please read warnings.) 5/5
Glancing up again, it takes a few seconds to locate Matthew but they catch eyes where he's crouched down watching Taliesin’s face in what Ivan assumes must be slack bliss. Matt gives a gentle nod and it's all the permission Ivan needs to see it to completion.
*
"Aftercare is going to be vital." Ivan said, finishing a bottled water as he went over the final preparation one last time. "If he taps out, or when it's done he's going to need a lot of love and while I fully plan to be part of it, a lot of it will be on you."
Matt nodded slowly. He understood his role, and knew full well what aftercare would look like. He was used to being the one getting it, listening to Tal and Marisha coo over him and remind him of how loved he was and that he was such a good boy and did well no matter what. He knew how it felt to come down and bear the empty coldness, those sad moments of coming back to reality and feeling the limits of his body and spirit.
He could only imagine what it would feel like after being brutalized.
"You gonna be okay?" Ivan asked, aware of his far away stare.
Matt chuckled. "Even if I wasn't, it's not like I can back out an hour before showtime."
"Of course you can. Any of us can pull the plug any time. We all have to be on the same page if-"
"It's fine." Matt interrupted. "I mean it. Just worried about what comes after."
For a moment Ivan didn't answer, he had to consider both his thoughts on the subject and his audience. "Give him love." He closed the distance between them with uncertain footsteps. "I'll worry about the first aid and practical stuff."
"And you?" Matt asked quietly. "I know you're not a stranger to playing a monster, but this is a lot."
He'd considered it, of course, and it wasn't his first time being the villain. Still, Matt wasn't wrong. As much as he was into the idea as Taliesin was, there was nothing easy about what he was going to do. "I'll be fine. A hot bath and a beer and I'll be okay."
The look on Matt's face was clear, he didn't believe that for a second. "Okay." He answered carefully. "Run me through it one more time?"
*
It's hard to tell if time is moving slowly or Taliesin’s body has simply accepted what's happening to him. He trembles, fear or exhaustion or both he doesn't know, and simply allows the moment to carry him. Ivan's thrusts are hard and deep, the grip on his flesh unyielding but increasingly ardent.
Ivan's riding the tension himself, his own body trapped between desperately wanting to give in and holding back to keep up his facade just a little longer. Snarling, he bites down again, finding a fresh bruise to scrape his teeth across before bearing down at the thickest part of his shoulder. Taliesin’s sobs have died down to a feeble whine but he knows tears are rolling down chubby pink cheeks, collecting at his chin and making his humbling complete. His prey is broken: as choreographed, he's won.
That's the thought that breaks the wall, he's won. He's won and his body pulses as he slams his hips into Taliesin one last time, filling him deep. "Yes…" He growls between gritted teeth, replacing his rough bite with a reverent kiss. "Ah-ha-ha… yes."
Letting out his held breath, Taliesin sobs and wails out a humbled cry. His throat is raw, his body aching, and his emotions feel desperately fragile. Dizzy, trembling, his fingers open and the rubber ball makes a hollow thwonk on the concrete when it drops.
Matt is the first to spring into action, pushing up on his steady feet and pulling free the knot binding Taliesin’s wrists before Ivan can even withdraw and stumble back enough to give him room to work.
“I’m here.” Matt says softly, wrapping an arm over Taliesin’s shoulders as he comes around the bench to hold him fully. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
It takes a moment to focus himself, but Ivan manages to shake himself free enough to step out of his puddle of clothes and locate the aftercare kit he’d brought. By the time he’s collected himself as well as the bottled water, towels, and balm, Matthew has managed to guide Taliesin to the laid out blanket and wrapped another over his exposed body. For another moment, he’s content to watch as Matthew whispers to him and brushes kisses across tear stained cheeks. It’s beautiful, he thinks, the way they can simply sink like that into easy affection after turmoil. When Taliesin laughs, his voice cracks and Matt wipes away fresh wetness before kissing that laughter away. He almost hates to break the moment.
When Ivan clears his throat and holds out the water, Talisin looks up at him with innocent eyes that at first glance seem fearful but in that same second warm with fondness. “C’mere.” Taliesin smiles and reaches for him and Ivan can’t bring himself to consider doing anything but sinking down on the blanket beside him and offering a towel.
“I’m going to check your wounds.” Ivan says in a voice that feels like the polar opposite of the last long minutes. Calm, confident, and soft. “Don’t mind me.” When he reaches to first check the subtly applied bandage, he’s met with Taliesin’s wide palm covering the top of his hand and holding it at one edge.
“It can wait.” He says, glancing first to Matt and then up at Ivan before moving that shaking hand to grasp his wrist and pull it closer.
Ivan looks to Matt, at first not understanding the gesture even as he’s pulled into Taliesin’s embrace, his arms squeezing tight around Ivan’s shoulders. Matt smiles a little more broadly and nods. “It’s okay.” Matt says casually. “You’re not the bad guy.”
“Oh no…” Taliesin murmurs, burying his head in Ivan’s shoulder and brushing small kisses there. “You’re the best bad guy. That was amazing… that was… God. I think I’m possibly dead right now.”
It’s the small chuckle that bubbles up in his throat that breaks Ivan’s subconsciously protective composure. He has to swallow back bile to let it come out naturally and seconds later he realizes that he’s a little misty eyed himself. “It’s fine.” He manages with another awkward laugh. “I’m fine.”
“Thank you.” Taliesin kisses his throat and squeezes as tightly as his tired arms will allow. “I can’t-”
“Don’t.” Ivan answers, finding sweaty hair at the back of Taliesin’s head as he tenderly strokes a palm there.
Shifting closer, Matt’s arms catch Taliesin from behind again, one wrapping around his midsection to rest comfortably between them. The other hand finds Ivan’s bare thigh and rests on the pale skin there. He squeezes and it draws Ivan’s attention to him fully. “It’s okay.” Matt reassures, the depth of his sincerity showing fully on his face.
Letting himself break a little, Ivan laughs again but its not without a hint of a sob. “I know. I know.” When he leans back, Taliesin initially seems hesitant to let his arms go slack but eventually allows him to get a good look. The hand slides from the back of Taliesin’s head to gently cup his cheek and Ivan isn’t surprised when he flinches. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Fuck. That was... that was awesome.” Taliesin answers and turns into the warm palm enough to press a kiss on Ivan’s thumb. “You’re amazing.”
A blush warms his cheeks and Ivan reflexively answers; “You’re pretty amazing yourself.”
“Beautiful, even.” Matt adds.
It’s clear when Taliesin turns his head to kiss Matt, it’s to stop the praise more than accept affection, but it warms Ivan no less. He adds to the thought; “At the end, I-I couldn’t stop thinking about the way you were crying.”
“God.” Taliesin sighs as the kiss breaks, a coy smile turning his lips. “I haven’t cried like that in- fuck, a long time.”
“It was really hot.” Matt continues, undaunted by the kiss. “I mean… I didn’t want to break your immersion, but part of me kind of wanted to, you know, participate.”
“Oh?” Ivan perks up, letting himself get comfortable in the unexpected embrace of Taliesin’s arms. “Oh do tell.”
“No!” Matt squeaks, his cheeks suddenly much more red than before. “I cannot be held responsible for-”
“Spill it, Mercer.” Ivan glares at him playfully. “Did you want to take a turn? Maybe next time a gang bang situation?”
Taliesin squeaks. “Please don’t say that. I can’t- my brain can’t really wrap around-”
“Not that at all!” Matt’s voice creeps upward, obviously shy about the thought. “Fine. I kind of… it’s stupid.”
“Maybe,” Ivan teases, “I can talk to some mutual friends-”
“Fine. I had this idea that maybe it would be fun to jerk off and come on your face.” His cheeks are burning bright red.
“Ok, that’s hot.” Ivan answers.
Taliesin is quick to add; “That would have been great. God I love your brain.”
Burying his face in Taliesin’s back, well aware of the heat radiating off it and the layer of fresh bruises and mild singe, Matt mutters a reply. “I can’t believe I said that.”
“Maybe next time.” Ivan answers, letting his gaze linger meaningfully on Taliesin as he leans into Matt. “We’ll see.”
*END*