Critical Role kink meme post #3: Unprompted Kinky Writing

[criticalkink]

For people to share their kinky writing that doesn't fit a particular meme prompt. (Links can still be shared to the Completed Fills post.)

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M/M/T - aaaangst 1/?

[(Anonymous)]

In retrospect Taliesin couldn't even remember what Marisha had said that made him give himself away. It was a joke, something funny enough to make him laugh until his eyes watered, but all that his brain had hung onto was the moment afterwards, the moment when he tried to catch his breath and just blurted out, "God, I love you."

They'd said it to each other before, of course, like everyone in the group. But this time he was too tired to hit the right note, and it was too sincere and too obvious – he could tell that much by the way Marisha's eyes went wide as she understood just exactly how he meant it.

She sucked in a breath. "Tal— you're not saying that you—"

"Fuck," he said. He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Do me the kindness of pretending you don't know that, will you?"

"Taliesin—"

"Please, Marisha."

"I— okay. If that's what you want."

Her expression was something that Taliesin couldn't identify. "It is," he said, and then hurried to add, "You can tell Matt, of course. I wouldn't ask you to keep it from him. Just… Let's never speak of this again."

Marisha looked at him for a long moment, then reached over and tugged on his hair. "Back to work, then," she said, and turned to their comic script once again. It was a mercy – but also, depressingly, a disappointment. A small, unworthy part of him had wanted her to push, wanted her to dig it out of him so that he could lance the boil. An even less worthy part of him had wanted her to kiss him.

-----

He managed to keep his shit together until after they finished for the day. Marisha looked like she wanted to say something as they parted, but instead she just reeled him into a hug, hard. Taliesin closed his eyes and hugged her back, but it was hard to take comfort in it when all he could think about was whether he was touching her too much. Whether he had been touching her too much all along.

"See you tomorrow." she said, pulling back. It wasn't a question. Tomorrow was Thursday.

"Yeah, of course," Taliesin replied. He forced himself not to watch her go, forced himself to smile at the rest of the office as he passed through on his way out. Forced himself to drive home carefully, forced himself to eat a bowl of ramen with actual vegetables in it.

Then he pulled out a bottle of whiskey from the back of the cabinet and proceeded to get intensely, desperately wasted.

-----

His hangover in the morning was practically supernatural in awfulness. He'd slept on the sofa – half hanging off it, to be truthful – and his neck ached from the strain. His head felt like an old school screamo band had invaded it and his mouth like he'd sunburnt his tongue.

His heart welcomed all of it – a penance that he more than deserved.

A shower didn't much help, nor the disgusting bowl of over-sugared cereal, nor the gigantic triple shot coffee he acquired on the way to the studio offices. But at least he was upright and could string a sentence together, even if every step felt like climbing a mountain of self-loathing.

Marisha wasn't in – a holy blessing from an entity he couldn't name. He sent a prayer of thanks to them anyway and hid himself away in an office. Ivan turned up, took one look at him, and went away only to return with another coffee. Taliesin leaned his head against Ivan's stomach for a moment of brief comfort before turning back to his laptop. It seemed for a moment like Ivan might say something, but then he just shook his head and left again.

There were meetings in the afternoon, important enough to make Taliesin's presence not solely masochism. By that point the coffee had more or less kicked in and concentrating had become easy enough, even if he still felt like shit warmed over. But then it was evening and they gathered in the Twitch studio and everyone was there, and he had to look Marisha in the face and smile and pretend like every inch of his soul didn't ache.

Re: M/M/T - aaaangst 1/?

[themcgeek]

Please, op, I want some more?

Re: M/M/T - aaaangst 2/?

[(Anonymous)]

He'd thought – hoped – that they would dive into the game quickly. But instead, while they were setting up, Matt caught his eye. "Taliesin." He crooked a finger in a beckoning gesture. His tone left no room for argument. Taliesin followed him into the back hallway next to the bathrooms. Matt closed the door behind them. "Marisha told me something last night."

"I'm sorry," Taliesin blurted. "Matt, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—" fall in love with your wife, his brain finished, but he had enough self-preservation not to say that part out loud. "If you want me to fuck off…"

Matt gave him a horrified look. "Don't you dare think I'd doubt you," he said fiercely. "I know you better than that."

"Better than I know myself, if you're that sure," Taliesin said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"Maybe I do, then," said Matt. He gripped the back of Taliesin's neck, using the bottom of his mohawk to reel him into a hug. "Asshole."

Taliesin blinked stinging eyes and buried his face in Matt's shoulder. "Sorry," he said. "It's been a shitty year."

"A year?"

"Fuck," Taliesin said wearily. "Can I please stop telling people uncomfortable things now?"

Footsteps clomped deliberately towards the door. From the rhythm it was obviously Sam; Taliesin spared a smile at the thought of his friends haggling over who would have to be the one to interrupt.

"I guess now isn't the time," Matt said.

"I would remind you that I'd be perfectly happy to talk about this literally never," Taliesin said. "But yes, come on." He raised his voice. "I think Sam needs to do some method acting in preparation for being Scanlan."

"My asshole is primed and ready!" Sam called back, and Matt burst into helpless laughter as Taliesin stepped back and opened the door.